‘Dad, I’m hungry.’
‘Hi Hungry, I’m Dad.’
Cue exasperated sighs at yet another dad joke from the sarcastic fathers of the world (although we love them really).
It’s unclear whether dads are given a microchip when they have a child, enabling them to make everything into a pun or silly joke. Either way, it’s a universal language for them.
To celebrate Father’s Day this Sunday, greetings card company thortful.com revealed the top ten cringiest (which undoubtedly means best) dad jokes – as voted for by the nation.
The company tasked people to submit their cheesiest dad one-liners and vote for the joke they believe to be the most cringeworthy.
Having analysed the entries and votes, it appears that one comes out on top, closely followed by even more terrible/amazing puns and witticisms.
Has your dad pulled out any of these around the dinner table lately?
- My wife says I never listen. Funny way to start a conversation if you ask me.
- My son asked me to stop singing Oasis songs in public. I said maybe.
- My wife is furious that our next-door neighbour has started sunbathing nude in her garden. Personally, I’m on the fence.
- When the wife finds out I have replaced our bed with a trampoline… She’s going to hit the roof.
- My wife said i never buy her flowers. I didn’t even know she sold flowers.
- I went for an interview. They said, ‘Can you perform under pressure?’ I said ‘I’m not sure about that but I can have a good crack at Bohemian Rhapsody’.
- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him. Went out. Had a few drinks. Nice guy. He’s a web designer.
- I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… She gave me a hug.
- Today, my son asked, ‘Can I have a bookmark?’ and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is John.
- Been out washing the car with my son. He said ‘Dad why don’t you use a sponge like the other dads?’
Why not turn the tables this Father’s Day and cringe them out with these cheesy jokes? Time for a taste of their own medicine we think.